Under the Orange Hood
by Tallest Phoenix
Summary: Secrets unfold about Kenny's orange parka. He only started dying after he got it. Could it be cursed?
1. Chapter 1

**This is the second South Park thingy by me ever. Ever ever ever. The first that's not a oneshot. Woohoo! *takes picture***

**I'm dedicating this to my friend Caro, because she inspired me and gave me the idea. **

Three friends, Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski (damn, did I even spell that right?), and Kenny McCormick were hanging out after school. Eric Cartman was with them, but he wasn't really their friend. They were only hanging out with him because… hell, they didn't know. But they couldn't get rid of him.

They were all at Stan's house. Stan had just gotten Guitar Hero, and they all wanted to play.

"You gehs!" said Cartman in his usual Cartman-ish voice. "Kenny can't play!"

"Why not?" asked Kyle.

"Because Kenny's family is POOR," he explained. "He probably doesn't even know what a guitar IS."

Kenny narrowed his eyes, his orange parka concealing a frown. "Fuck you."

"Oh, shut the hell up, fatass!" said Stan.

"Yeah, Kenny knows what one is! …Right?" Kyle looked at Kenny.

"Oh, what the hell do YOU think?" asked Kenny angrily. "Of course I do!!"

"Oh. Okay."

"I'm just sayin', you gehs…"

Kenny frowned.

It was now Kyle's turn to play.

"I mean, he could just be makin' it up. I really don't think he does."

Kyle missed a note. "Damn it, Cartman! You made me mess up!!"

"Shut it, you stupid Jew!!" Cartman pointed at the controller. "Kenny, this is what a guitar LOOKS LIKE. Can you say that? GIH-TARRR."

"Shut your fucking mouth!!" Kenny said, muffled as usual.

"Gah! I missed one again!!"

"Shut up, fatboy!" yelled Stan.

"I am not fat!" argued Cartman. "I'm just more to love!"

"Or fucking kill," said Kenny angrily.

By now, Kyle had missed so many notes that he had failed the song. "GRRAAHH!!" He tackled Cartman, hitting him, in a state of rage.

"Yeah! Go Kyle!"

Cartman eventually got up, bruised, and brushed himself off. "Fine! I'm leaving, and I'm takin' mah bitch with meh! Come on, Kenny!"

"I'm **not** your bitch, fat fool."

They left, Kenny a bit more grudgingly.

Stan and Kyle stood outside waving at Kenny.

"Seeya, dude."

Kenny turned to wave at them. "Bye, guys."

As he did so, a huge eighteen wheeler came and ran him over.

"Oh my God!" cried Stan. "You killed Kenny!"

"YOU BASTARDS!"

Then the two lost interest and went back inside.

**Sorry for the delay. Summer homework sucks ass. It sees an ass, it sucks it, it likes it, it does it again. It sucks ass.**

**This is going to end up being all about Kenny. (Who, for the record, DOES in fact know what a guitar looks like)**


	2. Turkey Fights

**IDK……. Chickens?!!?**

**Disclaimer: This is fuckin' fanfiction. If I owned it, it would be FICTION, not FANfiction. Do you need a wheelchair? Huh? Do you say only "TIMMEHH!!!" all the live long day and have an equally retarded turkey for a pet? Hm? You must if you think I need a disclaimer.**

The next day, everything was back to normal. Kenny was alive and well again, as though nothing had ever happened. That's the way it always had been, always was, and probably always would be. Kenny's dying had come to be a normal part of life. Like homework, it sucked to begin with, but eventually they got over it and moved on, only to have the same thing happen again.

Today, they stood at the bus stop, waiting for it to arrive.

Eric Cartman ran to catch up. "Gehs! Hey, you gehs!"

"What, fat ass?" asked Kyle.

"_I _have got some great news," the boy answered eagerly.

"You're moving someplace far away?" asked Stan hopefully.

"No."

"You're dying of some unknown disease?"

"No."

"You're getting a new brain that actually works?"

"Shut up, Kenny." Cartman frowned, crossing his arms. "Hmph. I just HAPPENED to have an idea to make ten MILLION dollars."

"Not this bullshit again…"

Stan sighed. "We're not making another boy band, Cartman."

"Yeah."  
"Last time I got squished!!"

"Psht! Boy bands are soooo last week," said Cartman.

"Then what is it?" asked Kyle.

That day at recess, Cartman lined the other three up to tell him his 'genius plan'.

"So what IS it?"

The fat boy grinned. "Turkey fights."

"Turkey fights?" asked Stan.

"Turkey fights."

"Okay, WHAT?"

"Come ON, you gehs! We could make ten million dollars!"

Kyle made a face. "Yeah, but that's just it. We COULD. We might not."

"But, buut!" He grabbed Kenny by the shoulders. "What about Kenny?"

"What ABOUT Kenny?"

"His family is POOR! He's probably never gonna see that much money!"

Kenny glared at him. "Oh, I am getting SO tired of this shit."

Catman turned to their mentally handicapped classmate, Timmy. "We're gonna need Gobbles."

"T…Timmeh…?"

Stan sighed. "Dude, don't take his gobbles away."

"And why the hell not?!"

"Because it's his and this'll never work!"

Cartman frowned. "Fine! Don't help me! Screw you guys, I'm going home!" He started walking away.

"You dumbass!" Kyle shouted after him. "You can't go home! We have school!"

"So?!"

Group sigh.

Kenny amazingly went through the day without dying. It must have been one of THOSE episodes…

His parents were fighting, drunk, again when he got home. Kenny sighed. He went to his room, did his homework, and went to bed. He slowly drifted off to sleep…

"_**It didn't happen today."**_

"_**We must be losing our abilities…"**_

_Who the hell are you?_

"_**Ah, he hears us…"**_

"_**Dammit, not good! What do we do now?"**_

"_**Hm, nachos?"**_

"_**Sweet."**_

Kenny sat up, panting.

"Dude... Weird."

**Wow, Kenny's gone crazy! OMG! Chicken!**

**And I'm sorry Cartman took your Gobbles away....**


End file.
